the only thing suicidal here is the door [winnie]

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winona bit down hard on her bottom lip at the sound of lucca's swinging fist and hissed words. she brushed her hair, holding a sort of staring contest with his own reflection. her eyes were obviously irritated, but the half closed lids hid that. she washed her face with a bar of soap and a sink full of hot water. the water was still tinged pink by the blood of lucca's that winona hadn't managed to wash up. she stood, her spine stretched, her chin high, and her feet at a perfect shoulder length distanced position. jaded, she mumbled. to be worn down after overuse. she had taken the SAT's just months before and had done extremely well on the vocabulary section. she had memorized, mostly, the words that had reminded her of herself. diminished, she mumbled, tilting her head to the side and tracing the curve of her neck and the bones of her face with the tip of her finger. to be lessened. she sighed and opened the mirror, and removing the tube of tooth paste from the medicine cabinet and her tooth brush.

she brushed her teeth with her eyes closed, her lips forming words around the tooth brush. idle. of no real worth, importance, or significance. she spit a bit of sweet smelling foam into the sink and cupped a bit of cold water, bringing it to her lips. she swigged and spat, following the same routine with a bit of mouth wash. she noticed quite a bit less in the bottle, and figured that lucca must have gotten carried away with the peppermint smelling, acid tasting, alcohol consisting liquid. she cleaned up her mess and returned to her bedroom. her brows furrowed, noticing lucca sitting against her walls, sitting on his bum with his knee's pulled up near his chest. it took her only a minute to put all pieces together, before retrieving a wet rag and first aid kit. she washed the blood from her cream colored wall, before lowering herself to sit between his legs, taking his wounded hand in hers and following a similar cleaning and bandaging process as she had earlier with his wrists and forearms. there's plenty we could give one another. he mumbled. you could stop trying to destroy the one thing i want more than anything, she turned from her position between his legs so that she was half facing him. she extended a hand and stroked his cheek with her thumb. and i could .. she paused to consider what she would answer his question, smiling down at his bandaged hand. can take care of you. we could erase the damage that others have done. she shrugged.

she could, already, feel herself sobering up. her lids were becoming lighter and she was returning to a rather quiet state. she turned more, burying her neck into the curve of his neck. oblivious. unmindful or unaware. you're oblivious to the fact that i need you. she wrapped her arms around his neck. because no matter if i lost my virginity, my dignity, my hope, my faith, and my ability to trust people, i haven't lost everything. because you are my everything. she shrugged. hand cuff me to a plane, i'll just come running back to you. she could feel the itch in her throat. this time it wasn't from the drugs, it was from the emotions she had been holding back. you're the only one who keeps me sane and keeps me here. i've wanted to kill him, too. i wanted to let you kill him, but i'd rather be hurt by him than to have you locked up in prison or in some loony bin! i'd like to kill your dad, too, but if i were to be locked up in some prison or loony bin, we'd be apart then, too. she could feel herself bouncing, trying to shake off the sobs. you can't let go. i can't let go of you. she grasped his uninjured hand, wringing at it and rocking back and forth between his legs and arms, her head nuzzled into his neck. you love me. i know you love me. so why don't you understand how much i need you to be there for me and how badly i need to be there for you?

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

he jumped slightly when she touched him, not hearing her come in in the first place and he licked his lips as he peered into her eyes. he let his head continue to rest on his right arm as she cleaned his left hand, settling herself between his legs. it was then that he truely began to realize and take in once more how tiny and fragile she was. he couldn't belive how anyone would want to taint and harm such a beautiful creature. she was so exquisite and beautiful, so innocent and so wise. he couldn't even think he was worthy enough to kiss her, yet he had pecked her lips on quite a few occasions, a comforting and friendly gesture more than romantic. she bandaged his hand and stroked his cheek as she looked into his eyes. "i dont think you can erase the damage. eighteen years of shit takes its toll." he said honestly. "but you do help.." he added to reassure her. lucca knew she wanted to help him almost as much as he wanted to help her, but the thought of living any longer then a few more months was torture. he didn't even think he could take one more hour of living sometimes let alone ten, twenty, thirty more years of living. people couldn't possibly understand how beautiful it was to take just one last breath and everything to go blck. it was so peaceful when he was dead until he was jolted back by a surge of electricity though his chest. he hated wake up hooked up to all those machines, a tube down your throat forcing you to keep breathing while your body was begging to finally be shut off again. he remembered how badly he wanted to get a 'dnr' order and how his father wouldn't even let him speak to a nurse as they deemed him mentally unstable to make his own decisions. that was why he was going to make it count as soon as they graduated, as soon as she was gone. this was going to be it.

he slowly lifted his right arm, allowing her to move closer to him, and he took in her clean scent. lucca already felt his body getting heavier again, returning to normal. his pain was coming back, but he ignored it as he did nearly every unplesant thing in his life. she buried her face into his neck and goosebumps shot over his body as her hot breath settled there as she spoke. he words were tearing him apart and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, it just got worse. he swallowed hard, thinking for a moment that he might actually break down, but he didn't. lucca had never cried in his teenaged years, and he wasn't going to start now. he took in a slow breath and shook his head. "i can't be your everything winnie. i can't handle that pressure. its too much. you have so much- you could have anything, anyone, why me?" he asked as he looked across the room at her bed, holding her slightly tighter. "i don't want to be your everything..."

he was starting to feel sicker by the moment as she continued to talk. as she mentioned his father he went slightly rigid and began breathing slightly heavily. "please don't.." he said softly, shaking his head. it was then he noticed his body was quivering, ever so slightly. "you know you'd never kill anyone, you're too good." he said shaking his head before he looked to her ceiling and let his eyes closed. "i can't- you.. i just.. i'm supposed to take care of you.. as your best friend i'm supposed to protect you and i don't know how to do that.. i can't kill him, you won't let me call the cops... god winnie some nights i just walk outside and listen read hard just t make sure i can't hear anything and that you're alright." he said quietly before squeezing his eyes shut lightly and shaking his head. "you.. you're so defenseless.."

she grasped his good hand and rocked back and forth causing him to hold her closer. he could hear the quiver in her voice and he didn't want her to break. "i do understand but i.. i can't winnie. i can't.. winnie i.." he couldn't think straight. he just didn't want her to fall apart on him because of him. he was supposed to be here to save her, not hurt her more. "shhh... shh bambina, che sarà bene .. sono qui, sono qui. i che avete. non voglio lasciare nulla accada a voi il mio amore. e 'bene bambina. so. so che è difficile. sto per farti fuori di qui. i promessa, anche se mi uccide... i vi proteggerà il mio amore." he cooed softly and soother her in his native tongue, stroking her head softly and rocking her back and forth as he held her.

outfit;; pow!

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winona let him hold her close as she rocked back and forth until her body feel limp in his grasp. she wasn't asleep, but she was just too tired to go on. she blinked slowly, her eye lashes tickling at his neck and ear lobe, her breath hitting his neck and bouncing back to heat her mouth. i'm not a child, she had taken french for three years of high school and hadn't bothered with italian, so she was mostly unsure of what he was saying. still, she understood that he had called her a child or something along those lines. i had to grow up a long time ago and so did you. you lost your mother and i lost mine. his mother had died and her mother had lost herself to drugs. you lost your father and i lost mine. his father was abusive and hers was horny. you're my best friend and i'm yours. she kissed his neck and peeled her lips away from the bare flesh. you know what suffering is like. you care. you don't run from the ugly things that happen to me, you run at them, guns fully loaded. why the hell would i want anybody else? she reached a blind hand to cover his mouth, putting enough pressure to keep him from talking but not enough to hurt his injured lip.

i thought we agreed that you wouldn't underestimate me? she removed her hand from his mouth. she would kill the bastard who put lucca in so much pain if she was ever given the opportunity. she closed her eyes and held them shut, tight, and her teeth grinding together in the silence she let surround them. i don't give a shit what the bible say, a guardian angel is useless dead. you care so much, why can't you just stop fighting me - one of the only people to ever love you! - and start fighting the bastard who bruise and break you! she had waited until she was far enough away from him to raised her voice, crawling across the white carpet, sitting a couple of feet from him. you won't kiss me. you get all offended when i even mention the prospect of us having sex. you won't run away with me. yet, you come to me when you're hurt or lonely. you check up on me and you keep me safe to the best of your ability. you claim to want the best for me, but you just keep pulling yourself away when i need you. excuse me, if i'm getting mixed signals. she sat back on her knee's, pressing wrinkles out of her shirt as she kept her eyes firmly planted upon his face. she shook her head and offered him that little smile.

forget it. i'm high, she lied. she didn't want to fight. she didn't want to be mad at him. she didn't want to scare him away. she didn't want to go from being his home to being the girl who took things too far. she attempted one of her small smiles but it didn't seem quite as sincere. let's go to bed? she stood and offered him her hand.

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

he took everything she was saying to him and he was taking it hard. she began stating everything they lost and he laughed softly, shaking his head when she uncovered his mouth. "no, you lost. i never had. i never had anyone at all to lose. my mother died hours after i was born and my father- he was never my father. i never had what you had. even though it was long ago, you sitll have some happy memories, something to go back to. you have something you can recall and remember that makes you hate them a little less. i don't even owe the right to hate them. they're strangers to me. you know what my memories are?" he asked before he pointed to his eye. "this is my only memory." he said before shaking his head. "that and being alone. those are my home sweet home memories. bing alone or being hurt- getting in fights- getting high- getting drung- fucking dying. oh fuck that is the best memory. dying was just so- you don't even realize how good it fucking felt for everything to just stop." he said, a dangerousness about his voice as he spoke to her on the subject. he hardly ever mentioned anything to anyone on what it was like, but he had just spilled it to her. it was a beautiful, beautiful suicide for him and he wanted it again so badly.

everything started to get more heated though and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. he ducked slightly as she raised her voice before frowning significantly, his breath being pulled deep within his chest. he shook his head, unable to believe she was saying all of this to him. "start fighting the people that do this to me!?" he snapped as he glared at her. "you got to be fucking shitting me! you think i just fucking sit there and take it? bull fucking shit! you best bet your damn life i fucking try, alright? i'm fucking weak. is that what you want to hear? i can't fucking do it winona. i tried- i've tried my whole fucking pathetic life to fight back, but i'm still the size of a fucking kid to him." he snarled getting to his feet. he shook his head and went over to the chair, grabbing his stuff and loading his pockets. "i won't kiss you and i won't have sex with you because we will never be together, not like that. you know it and so the fuck do i, alright?" he snapped as he pulled his shirt on. "i'm not good enough to be with you whether you think it or not, so i ain't gonna drag you down. you are gonna go off and find something so much fucking better, and you ain't gonna look back and remember this. i'm sorry i ever came to you, you're right. i'm fucking wrong. i don't know what the fuck i was thinking in coming here. my bad." he said as he threw his hoodie on and threw the hood up over his head. "i'm sorry i ever gave you the wrong message." he added before he went to the window.

lucca shook his head, his lip curled as his anger continued to control him. "go to bed. sleep it off. i'll see you next week." he said before he opened the window and climbed out on it, his blood nearly boiling. how could he have been so stupid? he knew better then to rely so much on someone else. it wasn't fair for them. he shouldn't have come here. he shouldn't feel so safe in her presence as he does. it was something he wasn't ready for, and neither was she. soon he'd get out of here though, and so would she. he knew that she hadn't meant everything as harshly as he took it, but he also understood that they were to close for their own good. all he knew right now was that he needed a drink and he needed to be high. he would have both of those things as soon as he possibly could. he jumped off the roof and landed on the ground with a hard thud before he continued walking, not looking back.

outfit;; pow!

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winona stood, her hand still offered to the spot where he had been. she stood, staring at the spot on the ground where he had been, closing her eyes and wincing at his words. she knew it, she had apologized and tried to cover her tracks too late in the game. she licked her lips and opened her eyes only after she heard the whistle of the air passing him as he flew from the roof to the lawn, and the sound of the thud of him falling. she looked to the ceiling, biting hard on her bottom lip and keeping her tears as nothing more than puddles under the eye lids she had closed once more. the hand that had been held out to him now curled into a fist. fuck you! she hollered. it wasn't meant for lucca to hear, because the fuck you had been more directed to the sadist assholes who had been putting them through so much. god, her father, his father, the assholes at school. fuck you! she hollered again, so loud her voice cracked and she could already feel the uncomfortable tickle that signaled how hoarse she would be the next morning. quickly, as she heard the silence down stairs broken by the sound of a door being opened.

winona jumped toward the door, clicking the lock on the knob and running to her closet. she pulled on a pair of leggings and a large sweater vest. she grasped a pair of old sneakers from under her window and her bag from the dresser nearest the window, before throwing one leg over the sill of the window. winona? she heard her father's voice. she froze, looking at the door and noticing how it blurred. she looked to her night stand where she had left her glasses. she looked to the ceiling again, holding back tears. she listened to her father jiggle the door knob. pooh bear? she climbed back inside to pull her glasses on her face and return to the window. she mouthed a simple fuck you! at the door and climbed out of the window, jumping and landing in a similar fashion, she was sure, as lucca had done.

she removed her phone and opened her contact list. she frowned at angel at the top of her contact list, but continued down, sending her mother a text: took lucca to the emergency room, it said. a lie. she knew her mother wouldn't receive the text until that morning, but at least this way her parents wouldn't involve the police in this little sneak out. she walked down the road, not even giving the fact that she had a perfectly good car back at home. she stopped at a stop sign to pull on her shoes and scroll back through her contact list, finding angel once more. she listened to it ring while she tightened her shoe laces and sighed as she got his voice mail. angel... i'm sorry. i'm supposed to be your best friend and all i do is rattle your cage. i.. i'm just too excited to get away from here, from them and i'm too worried about you. i love you, i do, but the whole kissing and sex thing.. that's not what we need. we need friends. friendship without the fire.. i'm rambling. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm rambling and i'm sorry i made you run and i'm sorry i rattled your cage. she paused to sigh again, knowing very well that the phone would cut her off soon. i... a robotic voice interrupted her. she hung up her phone and set it in her lap, leaning back against the stop sign.

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

his head was spinning now as he walked, his heart beating hard. he didn't know what he just did. he didn't mean to blow up on winnie, but it just sort of happened. he knew she didn't mean it like it came out, but he also couldn't stay with her any longer if that's how she felt. he couldn't be with her. it would mess everything up. men turned into monsters and he wasn't going to turn into one around her. he promised that to himslef the day he met her. he knew even before then though that he wasn't going to have any kids. men were just useless beings with nothing but terrible tempers and control issues that he didn't want to bargin with with her. he wasn't going to bring another innocent life into this mess of a world. he didn't want another kid left broken and shattered like him and winnie. he didn't want people to hurt. perhaps that was the difference. he was still a monster of a man, but he was a self-harming monster who only wanted to save everyone else. he wanted to help those who couldn't help themselves like he couldn't, but it looked like that would never happen. he couldn't even help the one person who meant so much to him. he couldn't even save winnie from her monsters and demons.

lucca jumped slightly as his phone ring and he looked at the caller id, rolling his eyes. "no winona." he said as he walked across the street despite the car honking from him to get out of the way followed by a string of curses by its driver. he sighed and shook his head, opening up the phone to listen to his voicemail. he froze in his footsteps and hit his head against the stop sign. he did it once more for good measure before he turned around and walked back towards her house feeling like a bloody puppet on a string. he was always doing as she willed even if she didn't know it. she had so much influence on him, and not very much at the same time. she was, quite honestly, the most influential person in his life. if anyone could change his mind about something, it was her and it always had been for years. she had been his rock and he had been hers as unstable and harmful as they were.

soon enough he came to her street and folded his arms as he looked at her, sitting on the ground, her back to him. he shook his head and pulled the hood further on his head before he walked over to her. he tugged her to her feet and shook his head before sighing. "you are so stupid winnie." he said, his face softer and more confused then meaningful. he couldn't understand why she had followed him, but she did to some extent. a moment after the words left his lips, his lips met hers. he kissed her lovingly and tenderly, despite the fact that his lip was busted open. he tasted her, so sweet, as he pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her. he cupped her face with one hand and continued the sweetest kiss he had ever shared with someone. his heart was beating faster and slower at once, his thumb caressing her cheek before he pulled away softly and backed away from her, swallowing hard, a slight frown on his face. "you are so stupid." he whispered, once more as he shook his head. "why winnie? why?" he asked as he continued backing away from her, his eyes locked into hers even as he stumbled slightly off the curb.

outfit;; pow!

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winnie had been staring at her phone while braiding her hair. she noticed how the red was faded from the soft strands. faded, she mumbled another vocabulary word, the ends of her hair running along her lips as if she were painting them. to lose freshness, vigor, strength, or health. to disappear or die gradually. she stifled a yawn and continued to stare at the face of her phone, waiting for it to light up, to ring, to vibrate. come on, angel. call back. she begged through frowning lips, closing her eyes.

she heard the foot steps behind her, but they were so light that she figured they were farther off and that she had more time to open her eyes and stand up off of the curb. he jerked her upward and she yelped thinking, for some odd reason and some odd moment that her father had been the one to approach and yank her up, she sighed in relief as she turned to face lucca. i'm sor- she began to apologize once more, but her lips were suddenly working at something else. the space between them closed. at first her lips pursed as he kissed her, her whole body stiff with surprise. as she felt his arms on her and his lips kissing her so tenderly, he loosened up, nearly falling limp in his grasp, her lips the only part of her that seemed to be working as they were supposed to. she raised her arms, cupping the back of his neck, the other cupping the back of his head, her fingers lost in the short, black hair.

the kiss seemed to last forever. her body grew warm due to the heat of their bodies and the thickness of his jacket and her sweat vest, yet she could feel the goose bumps forming around her spine and on her bare arms. she pulled away and that eternal kiss felt too short now. she nodded. i can be stupid, yes, she agreed. you can be sometimes, too. she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him and away from him, before looking back to him. she licked her lips which still tingled from the pressure and tasted like him. she watched, frowning, as he walked backward away from her. she felt her body twitch, wanting to reach out and grab him as he walked away and wanting to catch him as he stumbled. what can i say to make this better? what can i say to make you stay?

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

the kiss felt unbelievably spectacular and wonderful. to say it was the best kiss of his life would be an understatement. going by her definiation before- they were making love with their lips. they were making love in the most sensual way possible without sex. their movements were rhythematic and beautiful- slow and soft, just the way it should be as two lovers took their time in such an act. it was something to be savored and something to be relished, not something quick and sloppy to speed through to get to the end result. bliss wasn't something obtained exactly by the orgasm itself- the orgasm was a rush of feelings at the end of a beautiful act that brought forth reward. this reward was simply present the whole time through her taste and her scent linger on him as their lips meshed. there was no tongue involved, and surprisingly there was no need. as some people thought, good kisses had to be deep and full, this was soft and welcoming. it was comforting to him with all of the love behind it from the both of them. he could feel her fingers on his neck and running though the back of his hair. despite the bump there, he didn't mind too much about it. it was actually a touch he was familiar with from her. he loved when she ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep as she did on nights when things were really bad for him. it brought back good memories.

the kiss was over though, and reality now set back in. he shook his head as he looked at her frowning. "nothing you can say will make me change my mind winnie." he said as he looked into her eyes deeply before sighing. "its just- it hurts so badly... i'm sorry for whining to you about it and for running to you when things got rough- it wasn't right of me.. but you- you make it better. but you can't take it all away, and you shouldn't have to. i'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. he explained before sighing and walking back to her. he took her hand and kissed it tenderly before he leaned forward and kissed her head. "you are amazing bambina." he said honestly against the skin of her forehead before he looked into her eyes once more. "if anyone could change my mind, it would be you." he added with a small smile.

his eyes wandered back down her street towards her house before he glanced back to her, wondering what her intentions were. why had she followed him and then just stopped? "so you lookin to go out tonight?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "you look awefully dressed up." he joked before nudging her. "i was just going to score. looks like my plans have changed now that you're here.." he said as he eyed her momentaily and pulled out one of his cigarettes, lighting up and taking a puff, letting it rest between his lips casually. "i ain't takin you into that part of town." lucca added as he mumbled though the cig, looking into her eyes.

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

she wanted to kiss him again. she wanted the space between them to be closed. she wanted to feel his lips against hers and his inhales stealing her exhales. she wanted to have her fingers lost in his hair and his arms holding her tight. people always said that standing in the frame of a door was the safest place to stand during an earth quake, in the earth quake winona knew as life, lucca's arms were like the frame of a door. don't apologize. i want you always, and i need you most of the time. she remembered saying so earlier that night, but the situation seemed so much different now and that seemed forever ago. she reached forward, he was still close enough to reach out and grab, but was still too far for her liking. she cupped his chin and stroked his jaw line with her thumb.

she nibbled on the inside of her mouth as he spoke. she looked down to her outfit and shrugged, smiling as he nudged her. her thumb stopped stroking his law line, and stretched to touch his bottom lip, tugging it down and revealing a tattoo on the inside of his mouth. she let go and traced his bottom lip, before removing her hand from his face. she straightened her glasses and tilted her head to look him in the eyes. i don't care. take me anywhere.

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

he liked the way it felt as she touched his face, the skin to skin contact so soft and smooth to the feel. he let his head push into her hand ever so slightly, letting her do what she pleased to him. he remembered when they were younger, much younger then they were now, there was a time when she wasn't allowed to touch his face. he had been so afraid of anything near his face that when anyone's hand came close he would draw back within himself. he would be ever so cautious when letting people touch him. he was so timid. he would hardly even allow people to give him hugs. the first time she had touched his face- he remembered the anxiety about it, then the surprising comfort he had found in it. no one had ever touched him like that, and no one ever did afterwards. even his so-called girlfriends didn't get that oppertunity. they could kiss his lips and his cheek, but that was all and nothing more. he liked keeping things this way too. lucca and winnie were so easy and so good. he enjoyed what she did for him and what he believed he possibly did for her. they needed each other and they had each other.

she tugged down his lip and he winced slightly at the cut, but smirked all the same as she looked at his 'italy' tattoo hidden on the inside of his mouth. she let it go and traced his bottom lip, his lips pursing slightly to kiss her finger before he replaced her finger with the cigarette once more. he took a drag on it before looking around the street in thought. they were both young and there weren't many places they could go at this time considering how late it was at night, or how early it was in the morning. his eye looked to the sky and he shrugged, pulling the hood back up on his head that had seemed to fall off early as he took another drag and flicked the ashes.

"you want to go to the beach?" he asked suddenly as he looked back at her. "i know its late and all- or early, whatever- but it ain't like you want to go home. i cant. and the beach should be open... i haven't been down there in years... probably since the last time we went down there back in '05." he shrugged as he took another drag. they were 14 then and he didn't even take his shirt off that young. he was shorter and less tattooed, but very much the same lucc. he was just heavier into more dangerous drugs then that he had backed off on as he got older because they were too expensive for him.

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winona considered the beach for a moment, nibbling on her bottom lip. most teenagers in pismo visited the beach daily, but winona hadn't gone since.. since the last time lucca and she had gone. before that, she hadn't gone to the beach since she was a little girl, chasing seagulls and waves with her mother and watching her father kiss her mother long and hard as the sun was setting. she had run around in a tiny little, hot pink swim suit, and had laughed herself hoarse. with lucca, she had smiled a whole lot, but she hadn't bothered to undress or to even approach the water or enjoy the wonders a beach should hold. maybe now, when it was just her and lucca, she could actually enjoy those wonders. the beach sounds wonderful.

she stepped closer to him, licking her lips and waited for him to remove the cigarette from between his lips, she stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his for a brief second before pulling away. alright, she pointed in the direction of the beach. toooo the beach! she sighed and began walking, playing with the ends of her hair.

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

he removed the cigerette from between his lips, but a smile replaced it as her lips pressed to his. he chuckled and shook his head, taking another drag before nodding. "to the beach." he smirked and began walking with her. he eyed the back of her sweater and took the cigerette from his mouth after one last, long drag and put it out. a devilish smirk came across his face as they walked, him behind her a few steps before he looked around. "hey winnie-" he said, trying not to sound to obvious. when she turned around, he scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder, despite its soreness and began laughing. "to the beach!" he grinned as he continued walking with her over his shoulder, giving her bottom a pat jokingly.

he adjusted her easily, as tiny as she was even though she didn't way much more then him, so she was now bridal style in his arms and he laughed. "well hello there." he joked, pressing his lips to hers, closing his eyes in comfort as he continued walking.

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

winona turned. huh? he answered her by lifting her and tossing her over his shoulder. ugh, i may be tiny, pale, and have red hair.. but i am no raggedy anne doll! she laughed, squirming in his grasp as he patted at her bum, stretching to give him bum a swat. she sighed, much more comfortable in the new position. she wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her cheek against his collar bone. she opened her mouth to say something. what she wasn't quite sure, due to the fact that she closed her mouth and smiled. she wanted to say something along the lines of you certainly are playful tonight or i wonder what the boys at school would think of you if they saw you now, but didn't want to ruin the moment, so she kept the thoughts to herself.

she let him carry her as far as he could, not realizing he had carried them all the way to the beach. he had set her on her feet, her sneakers sinking into the sand. she smiled at him, lowering herself to the ground to remove her shoes.she waited a moment for him to remove his shoes and socks and roll up his pants before taking his hand in hers and walking to the water. she smiled as the sand grew thick and molded around her feet at the water's edge, giggling lightly as the waves licked at her toes. she watched the water for a moment, before looking to lucca. angel, she said and nothing more. she smiled at him, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go and wriggling out of her leggings and walking into the water where the water reached her knee's. she let her head fall back, feeling the breeze through her hair. she thought of the notebook and how her literature class had read the book and watched the movie to write and essay for comparison. she remember the scene at the beach.

she didn't bother turning to look at him. do you believe in reincarnation, angel? do you think we'll come back again? do you think we'll get to live better lives? she remembered the argument her psychology class had held in the first week of school about death and the after life. some people thought that we shuffled places, we lived different lives but played different roles. do you think we'd meet each other in another life? she hoped so.

[LUCCA MICHKAEL ANGELO]

he watched her, admiring her beauty in the moonlight as the breeze ran through her hair, whipping it lightly. he smiled to himself as he stood away from her, just watching. his fear of water kept him from going any deeper then his ankles, even then it was a bit uncomfortable, but the water felt good and she was a great distraction. he inched slightly closer and he chewed on his lip as he took in a deep breath of the evening air mixed with salt. the light danced off her hair making her look so angelic, like a water nymph as she stood there in all her innocence, wisdom, and wonder. he often wondered how they came to be together, but it was a miracle that they had considering that without him, he knew she would have it much worse. without her, he would be dead. the relationship they had, the friendship, was the healthiest thing that he had ever had in his entire life and he knew that he would never have anything this special again. it was something that happened between two people, one in a million. they were soulmates, and of that he was sure. but a soulmate could life without its partner, right? he sure hoped so.

as she spoke, he was shaken out of his thought process and he looked up at her. he considered the thought for a moment before he looked at the water, wiggling his toes in the sand. "i think that if something like that existed... then yes.. we are to drawn to each other to not meet up again." he explained with a small smile. he pushed the hair from his face and stretched lightly before scratching his head. "i don't believe in anything though. what kind of god would create monsters?" he said as he walked away from her, exploring the ankle deep water with his feet.

[WINONA MARIE MARCS]

she turned to face him, feeling the water hit against the back of her knee's. i lost my faith due to that very same though. i think, if god exists, he gives us monsters as a challenge. just like he gives us doubts so that someone can reassure us. he gave me my father so he could give me you and teach me how to land on my feet. i guess. she shrugged. that's just a hypothesis, a safety net religion. i don't want to say that god doesn't exsist or that he's a sadistic bastard because i'd hate to die and not have his welcome, ya know. honestly, i think god's worst creation was human. he created us and we created everything else. everything that can be used to destroy. she stepped toward him, noticing how he wouldn't step very far out and remembering that water made him uncomfortable. god or no god, monsters exist and we just have to take their beatings until one day they get what's comin' to 'em. she ignored. gotta have a little faith. she wrapped her arms around his neck.

do you love me? she whispered, standing on her toes so that her lips were at his chin, her eyes looking up into his. i don't want to be your girlfriend. what we have is way better than hallway hand holding or prom date material. i just want to know that it's actually possible for two people to love each other, even when the world is falling apart. she knew her words might scare him off again, that they might anger him, but she needed to know. her knee's were knocking against one another and her stomach was filled with butterflies, she needed to know if she had a similar effect on him.